Saturday, December 29, 2012

Namaste - Releasing My Ego to See the Divine


The other day I wrote a post on how I don’t think of God as an entity that can be defined but prefer to see the Divine as existing in each of us, no matter who we are.  The Hindu greeting “Namaste” has been translated as “the divine in me greets the divine in you.”  In other definitions it speaks of releasing one’s own ego in order to be able to see the divine in others, putting aside ones definitions of what is sacred and being willing to be open to that which is divine in others.  Some people may say that I am not “saved” or am in danger of going to hell because of what I believe.  I am not concerned.  That which gives comfort to others, whether it be a relationship with Jesus or adherence to the strictness of dogma, is not for me to judge.  (Though, to be honest, I am guilty of that at times.) Comfort is valuable and we should all be allowed to find it in whatever way serves us as long as it does not harm others.
I have been able to find great comfort in the words of Jesus and Buddha, in the writings of Jewish rabbis, Muslim clerics, Sufi poets, yogis, native shamans, and in the garbled words of a schizophrenic homeless man.  This has been proof to me that the Divine knows no boundaries.   What concerns me is when the religious set up boundaries that leave some people feeling that they cannot be a part of anything that even smells of incense. 
Today I choose to find the Divine in the world around me in hopes that it can help me find that spark in myself.  Here is where I find it (in no particular order):
1 - In great and sometimes not so great music.  I can be moved by Chopin and Saint-Saens in one moment and groove out to Carly Rae Jepsen  the next. 
2 – The kindness of others.  I am truly grateful for the food that is grown in my friend, Joyce’s, garden, but not only does the Divine exist in her garden, it exists in her and Roland’s hearts as they fulfill their mission of supplying food to the local food pantry.  I also know many people who choose to work in human service rather than finding careers that pay well.  And I know people who make good money and choose to be of service by volunteering or giving a portion of their earnings.  Kindness comes in many forms.  I have seen it when a car stops to let someone cross the street or when someone spends a full day Christmas shopping for children she will never see but just wants to know that a child in a shelter will have something to open on Christmas morning.    
3 – Laughter.  From baby to adult, the sound of true laughter is the expression of Divine joy.
4 – The beauty of nature – Divinity is found in great beauty whether you believe in intelligent design, the creation as told in Genesis, or evolution.  The desert landscapes of New Mexico, the mountains of New Hampshire or the Himalayas, the colorful creatures of island lagoons, and the beauty of a flower garden all contain the spark of Divine.  When I look at the stars  and hear Neil Degrasse Tyson (see below) telling me of how I am made of the same stuff as the stars I am in awe of that possibility.
5 – Patience.  Whenever I am able to be patient with myself, others, and animals, I am aware that the Divine exists in me.  It is in the breath that I take when I need to have a moment before I take action or say something that proves to me that there is something divine that works in me and keeps me from falling apart.
 As I said before, I don’t believe in a God that takes a personal interest in the day to day, minute to minute, goings on of my life.  But there is something that quickens in me when touched by the presence of the Divine in myself and others.  It has no judgment, no agenda, and no specific purpose.  It is just a presence that reminds me of my humanity and connection to others and the world around me.  It is the loss of that connection that I believe turns so many people to despair and harm of others.  I know that others may define this all differently and that is fine.
 Namaste!

Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Eve Musings Before a Nap


I would love to be able to write an inspiring message for the holiday season.  I don’t know if I even have it in me.  I am not a holiday person.  I am actually one of those “blue” people who find the holidays to be overwhelming and only serve to remind me of difficult Christmases past. 
It hasn’t always been that way.  I used to be the one who loved to string popcorn and cranberries for the tree and set up the crèche in a prominent spot.  I loved to sing Christmas carols at the top of my lungs, albeit slightly off key.  Then things happened.  Choices were made.  Some out of my control, some just seemed to be the least of all the evils.  And I stopped believing. 
Somewhere along the line I stopped believing that there is a God out there who takes a personal interest in my activities.  Oddly, it happened around the same time that I stopped doing the things that I would rather not have God witness.  It’s not that I don’t believe in God.  I just got tired of everyone claiming to have his ear, or his righteousness, or that God was on “our” side or that God has a reason for everything and it is not our job to question.  I prefer to believe that if there is any divinity it exists within each of us and most of us are able to touch it now and then and be better for it.  It is that piece of divinity that connects us to each other. 
I guess I see that when everyone has tried to define who or what they think God is, it has ended up separating us even more.  I don’t think God is definable.  I don’t think God is a he, a she, or an it.   I think as long as we continue to try to define God we are in danger of making God in our own image and forgetting that there is that piece that we can’t define that connects us rather than that definition we have created that separates us. 
Christmas has become another way to separate us.  It brings together like-minded people who celebrate together within their agreed upon definition.  Some folks argue every year that there is a war on Christmas, or that we need to put the Christ back in Christmas, and whenever I hear that I feel that those people don’t want me to be a part of their celebrations so I back away and I feel separated.   I wish there was a holiday that everyone could celebrate that would bring us all together in peace and harmony, no matter our beliefs, no matter what we believed our relationship is to that we call God.
These past few weeks have only reinforced that sense of separation I feel exists in the world.  There are people who are afraid of mentally ill people with guns who want more people to have more guns.  I don’t know anymore.  There are already so many guns out there that I don’t know if there is an answer.  I also know that people on both sides strongly believe that God is with them.  I think some people may have gotten the Ten Commandments and the Constitution and all its amendments confused.  At times they seem to contradict each other.  I just don’t know.  What I know is that I don’t want any more babies to die and I don’t want children growing up in a world where everyone they know is wearing a gun because there are other people with guns who are dangerous.  How do we know who is dangerous at this point? 
I also know that I am dealing with vicarious trauma.  I hear stories every day of awful things that people do to people that they claim to love.  It’s not necessarily the strangers with the guns who scare me.  As I well know, it could be the person sitting across the table from you at breakfast that could be the one who decides that your presence is an inconvenience, an annoyance, or that the coffee just wasn’t the right temperature. 
Yes, I am not the person who decorates three or more trees, throws a party, wears that Santa hat for the month of December, and makes bags of reindeer food.  There have been people who felt they had to lure me into their Christmas cheer, but, as much as I dearly love and miss those people, it didn’t really didn’t do anything but reinforce my sense that there of more us who would prefer to drink our nog alone than with others because that much jolly is best taken in small doses.  I always say I have about four hours of holiday cheer and I save that for my grandchildren.  Any more than that would just be me faking it and that would be cruel for all of us.
I will, however, look out the window tomorrow and hope to see snow.  I will look up at the sky tonight and think about all those children who are looking at the same sky in hopes of seeing the red flashing nose of a reindeer and I will think about those children who are not.  I will miss my grandchildren but also be grateful that they had the opportunity to go to Disney this year leaving me to spend the week with the granddogs who probably have more of the Divine in them than most people.    As much as I would like to believe that this is the holiday of peace and love, things will continue pretty much the same.  I may pray, but that is only to change me, not to change the mind or gain the favor of an entity.  I pray in order to have inner peace because that may be the only place I will be able to find it.