Wellness Update – 25 pounds gone!!!

I am in somewhat of a celebratory mood. I stopped by Dr. Jane’s office today to pick up some supplements and check my weight. I lost another 4-5 pounds in the past 20 days and realized that this makes a total of 25 pounds lost since the middle of May.
So why is it that I am only in “somewhat” of a celebratory mood. I think I have a hard time accepting the gifts I receive and I tend to list off “buts” like a list of sins. But I have had a few too many sweets lately, but I am tired a lot again, but I haven’t been playing the cello again like I should, I should do more weight training, I should write more.” Yes, I am also really good at “shoulding” all over myself.
I am thrilled with the loss of the 25 pounds even though it is 25 pounds I have lost before. See – I did it again and even avoided using the word “but”, but we know it was implied. I know this means that I am making good progress and even though I wish I could snap my fingers and be four sizes smaller right now this is a good progression. Not too fast. It means I am losing fat and not muscle. I have even bought some smaller clothes and the shorts I have been wearing this summer are ready to fall off. I even had a hard time keeping my sandals on today because my feet have lost some weight. And – people are noticing. I have been told I look thinner, have a glow, and seem healthier. I appreciate that because I can rationalize and fool myself into believing anything and often need some input from others. If I don’t get it, I am more than likely to stop for an ice cream or take an extra portion of something.
I will now say it – GOOD FOR ME!!!! WOOHOO!!
Enough of that. I am tired. I have learned that feeling better is only temporary if I get carried away and do way too much. That will bring on a relapse of adrenal fatigue and I think that is what happened after a very busy June/July/August. I felt so good that I went forth like a thirty-five year old and forgot to take it “moderato” as Dr. Jane would say. My balance was way out of kilter. Too much exercise and activity and not enough meditation and cello playing. I think some mild mania was in play, too. I was riding a high of feeling better and being able to participate in so many activities.
I forgot how important it is to include rest in my wellness plan. And when I forget, my body reminds me. My body is really good at letting me know when to rest and when to do some gentle yoga to work out the kinks and when I have eaten too much. I just don’t listen. Wait, I have selective hearing. I hear what I want to.
I commented to a friend the other day that self management of one’s physical, spiritual and mental being is a lot of work and hard to prioritize. It takes a lot of motivation, energy, self talk and willingness to accept support when offered and seek it when I really need it. I can’t imagine trying to do this with a husband and kids and a more demanding job than I have. I am blessed to work in a place that not only promotes and encourages self care but provides opportunities for it to happen.
I will continue on this path and realize, as my dear friend, the Rev. Pat Bessey, once said to me, “obstacles only need to be speed bumps and not brick walls.” Most of my speed bumps are self created by my attitude and I have the power to move past them. I just need to listen to my body and that inner voice that knows where I should go.

Wrapping My Roots Around the Granite (State)

I have been waxing poetic about my life in New England for the past couple of weeks. I just can’t stop feeling as if this is where my roots have finally taken hold. I will even risk stating that my spirit has finally found the place where it can stretch and truly fly.

I know that a lot of this comes from feeling much better physically. I have had a wonderful summer filled with concerts, travels, time with family and friends, a wedding, and a wee one’s first birthday. How fun it is to watch people begin new lives and expand their own families! I moved to New Hampshire in 2005 to be closer to my grandchildren. At first I was a couple of hours away from them and now I am forty-five minutes away. I know that watching my own grandchildren grow into amazing human beings has been another gift of living in New Hampshire.

I spent many years feeling as if I didn’t have roots anywhere. I grew up on the shore of Lake Superior in northern Wisconsin and loved it there. This is not the place to discuss why I did not return there to live so just know that ,in some ways, I was rootless for many years. I lived in Virginia for 26 years and spent a good part of my time wishing I could leave. I did not feel at home there. It served its purpose. I completed my formal education and made some of the best friends of my life while living there, but it just never felt like the place I was meant to be forever. For many years, I felt trapped and unhappy.

I know that we make our own happiness and I was able to find an attitude of gratefulness and happiness that sustained me. However, living in a large city has always felt very restrictive to me. When I was able to travel to the mountains I could feel my spirit expand. I could breathe. Living in a city felt like wearing clothes and shoes that were too tight.

Beginning the first week I was here, I found one of my greatest pleasures was to be able to just drive around and find places to hike and visit. When I lived in the Monadnock region I would get in my car and just drive, knowing that as long as I knew where the mountain was I was not lost. Mount Monadnock was a cardinal point in my life. I did not need to know where north or south were as long as I knew where the mountain was.

Even though I am no longer in the southwest corner of the state I find I can use other points (usually familiar mountains) to orient myself. I understand why a person would like a GPS in the city, but in the country I feel free to get misplaced so that I can find new places by means of synchronicity.

I am jealous of people who were born in New England. I don’t want to be a foster or adopted New Englander. I want to have it in my blood. I want to erase my “ers” and replace them with “ahs.” I want to say “wicked pissah” with the same intensity as someone who was born here. I don’t want to be a “flatlander” or “from away.” I want my roots to reach down into the soil of this state and wrap around the granite beneath. I don’t ever want to be away from fresh summer blueberries, maple syrup and cool autumn nights. I want to have the right to hate the Yankees and love the Red Sox as much as anyone born here.

I don’t want to erase my past, but I certainly would love to be considered a native New Englander. I would be willing to be dunked in the waters of the Merrimack or Saco Rivers if it meant I would be born again as a New Englander. That would be wicked cool.

Life Gets Better and Better Every Day

I have had a fantastic week. Every now and then I would stop and think – “Linda, you wouldn’t have been able to do this a year ago.”

I spent Sunday evening through Wednesday morning in Chicago for the SAMSHA Women and Recovery Conference. SAMHSA had really gone all out and managed to pull in top notch speakers. My favorites were Stephanie Covington (the expert in women, trauma and substance abuse), Jean Kilbourne (media expert), Joan Borysenko (writer on spirituality and self), and Gil Kerlikowske, the President’s Drug Czar.

I was very impressed with the chef at the Chicago Marriott. The vegetarian lunches were amazing. On Monday they served lasagna with grilled eggplant as a substitute for the noodles and on Tuesday it was a Caesar salad with falafel balls replacing the grilled chicken. Both are recipes I am going to duplicate.

At the end of both days I was able to walk at least three miles around downtown Chicago. The weather was beautiful. I spent some time walking along Lake Michigan on Monday and on Tuesday I found the best vegan restaurant I have ever been in, Karyn’s Cooked on Wells Street. If you are ever in Chicago, go there. Even if you aren’t vegetarian. It is well worth it.

Last year at this time, if I had gone on a trip like this I would have been so tired by the end of the day that I would have gone to the nearest restaurant or convenience store and gotten something to take to my room so I could sit on the bed and watch Law and Order SVU. Not this year. I had energy to spare.

I got home on Wednesday evening and spent Thursday running errands and visiting with my sister, Barb, who came up to go to the STING concert with me and Denise D and her friend Laura. Everyone was concerned about time and traffic and all that jazz, but I have known from the first moment I found out STING was going to be near Boston that it was all going to go well and it did. We were there at 7 p.m. and in our seats by 7:30. The weather was perfect and a cool breeze came up as the sun went down.

I really can’t describe the concert very well. It exceeded my expectations and I am afraid that if I try to describe it I will not do it justice and only come off sounding like a gushing fan. I am a gushing fan, of course, but also a lover of great music and the combination of STING and the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra was the recipe for bliss.

On Friday, I met with Dr. Jane Sullivan-Durand at the Concord Center for Integrative Medicine. We went over all my supplements and how I am feeling. I told her about my week and how I am walking longer and faster and combining a little weight training with my yoga. I also told her I have a goal of walking the Cigna 5K in a couple of weeks and she was as excited about my progress as I am. AND, I have lost a total of 17 pounds since I first started seeing her on May 11. She said that my weight loss is perfect as it shows I am losing fat and not water. We upped my DL-Phenylanine as there have been some breakthrough sweet cravings. However, all in all, I am doing very well. My blood pressure is down and I have less body aches. She is recommending that I start working with a personal trainer at WellSpring Fitness Center when they open in September. I will keep you all posted on that.

I love exercise. I always have. It was so frustrating the past couple of years when doctors were not getting that it wasn’t that I didn’t want to exercise, but that I would feel worse after I did. The aches and the tiredness would drag on for days. Now I am revived by exercise, my endorphins are up and I look forward to getting out for a good walk. I am very fortunate to live less than 2 miles from both the Merrimack River and the Contoocook River. Both have great trails to walk and I love being in the woods.

Yesterday I did a long training walk for the Cigna 5K. I want to do a few 4-5 miles walks between now and the 12^th so that the 3.2 mile walk feels easy. Yesterday I did 4.8 miles in a about 70 minutes. I did the first 2.5 miles at a good clip but slowed down for the second part. I would like to have a good finish time. I was running 5Ks when I was 35, but I know that no matter how I feel I am not 35 anymore and my knees would appreciate the kinder, gentler approach.

On top of all that activity, I went to a wedding yesterday. One of the young women I used to work with in Keene married the man of her dreams. I know she was thrilled, but I have never seen a groom so happy in my life. He was grinning from ear to ear and looked as if he was levitating from joy. They were a beautiful couple and I was very glad to be able to witness their joy.

Wilson and Rebecca Perez 7/30/10