I am in somewhat of a celebratory mood. I stopped by Dr. Jane’s office today to pick up some supplements and check my weight. I lost another 4-5 pounds in the past 20 days and realized that this makes a total of 25 pounds lost since the middle of May.
So why is it that I am only in “somewhat” of a celebratory mood. I think I have a hard time accepting the gifts I receive and I tend to list off “buts” like a list of sins. But I have had a few too many sweets lately, but I am tired a lot again, but I haven’t been playing the cello again like I should, I should do more weight training, I should write more.” Yes, I am also really good at “shoulding” all over myself.
I am thrilled with the loss of the 25 pounds even though it is 25 pounds I have lost before. See – I did it again and even avoided using the word “but”, but we know it was implied. I know this means that I am making good progress and even though I wish I could snap my fingers and be four sizes smaller right now this is a good progression. Not too fast. It means I am losing fat and not muscle. I have even bought some smaller clothes and the shorts I have been wearing this summer are ready to fall off. I even had a hard time keeping my sandals on today because my feet have lost some weight. And – people are noticing. I have been told I look thinner, have a glow, and seem healthier. I appreciate that because I can rationalize and fool myself into believing anything and often need some input from others. If I don’t get it, I am more than likely to stop for an ice cream or take an extra portion of something.
I will now say it – GOOD FOR ME!!!! WOOHOO!!
Enough of that. I am tired. I have learned that feeling better is only temporary if I get carried away and do way too much. That will bring on a relapse of adrenal fatigue and I think that is what happened after a very busy June/July/August. I felt so good that I went forth like a thirty-five year old and forgot to take it “moderato” as Dr. Jane would say. My balance was way out of kilter. Too much exercise and activity and not enough meditation and cello playing. I think some mild mania was in play, too. I was riding a high of feeling better and being able to participate in so many activities.
I forgot how important it is to include rest in my wellness plan. And when I forget, my body reminds me. My body is really good at letting me know when to rest and when to do some gentle yoga to work out th
e kinks and when I have eaten too much. I just don’t listen. Wait, I have selective hearing. I hear what I want to.I commented to a friend the other day that self management of one’s physical, spiritual and mental being is a lot of work and hard to prioritize. It takes a lot of motivation, energy, self talk and willingness to accept support when offered and seek it when I really need it. I can’t imagine trying to do this with a husband and kids and a more demanding job than I have. I am blessed to work in a place that not only promotes and encourages self care but provides opportunities for it to happen.
I will continue on this path and realize, as my dear friend, the Rev. Pat Bessey, once said to me, “obstacles only need to be speed bumps and not brick walls.” Most of my speed bumps are self created by my attitude and I have the power to move past them. I just need to listen to my body and that inner voice that knows where I should go.
I can completely relate to nearly everything you've said in this post, but most particularly how damn HARD it can be to prioritize "self-care." The proper care and feeding (not just of food, but of all things needed to thrive) of myself is possibly the hardest thing on my regular to-do list -- and most often, it is the thing not written down. And therefore not done. And therefore paid for later.
ReplyDelete