Why Yoga is So Important to Me

Yesterday’s hike knocked a few things out of alignment in my body. Between the arthritis and the muscle aches, I woke up feeling like Gumby tied in knots. I know when I feel that way the only thing that is going to help is to listen to my body and today it was screaming “YOGA.”

I am very aware that I do not look like someone who does yoga. In fact, when I was going through the line to request a body, I thought the angel said “Surprise me?” when actually what was being said was “Super Size?” I said “Sure”, hoping that the surprise would be what eventually became Angelina Jolie’s body, but no. I have large feet, large hands, and a large body. If I really had wanted anything different I should have been born into a different family. We all are of strong, solid and big stock.

With that said, you can imagine that I look nothing like someone who does yoga. I don’t have the lithe, sinewy body that bends into exotic shapes and I have never stood on my head. I don’t think I ever was able to put my foot behind my head. However, even though I leave some yoga postures to those less endowed women, I have found my place on the mat.

When I wake up feeling like Gumby after a cage fight, I sit on my mat and follow my body’s instructions. First, I breathe. Sounds elementary, but conscious yoga breathing focuses energy, calms the central nervous system, and detoxes cells. Breathing does more to cleanse our system that any other action. The first thing we ever do is inhale and the last thing we will do is exhale. Every breath in between is important and should never be take for granted.

I have a few set postures that I do, but I find that if I just listen to what my body needs then I eventually work out the kinks. I have a few DVDs that are excellent, but being mindful of my body is the most important part of my routine. I have to make a few adjustments due to my size but find that I am much more flexible than a lot of women who are smaller than I am. I believe that yoga has reduced the pain and stiffness that comes with having arthritis. I have also been diagnosed with fibromyalgia in the past, but that diagnosis no longer seems to apply and I think yoga has significantly helped in reducing my pain. I have lately been diagnosed with adrenal fatigue and many of the postures, along with Qi Gong, energy work, and supplements, are helping me feel better each day.

My time on the mat is also time with Boo, my lovely charmingly chubby cat. She comes running as soon as she hears the mat unfurl and she is with me through each posture. She has taught me that taking time to pet her is an integral part of the mindfulness of yoga.

The most important part of yoga for me, though, is that it has changed my relationship with my body. I know longer think of it as a necessary vehicle that is separate, but it is now a part of my whole and needs my attention in order to keep it maintained. Yoga helps keep my body and breathe connected to my spirit.

I am seriously considering becoming a yoga instructor next year. I would love to work with other women of size and teach them the value of listening to their bodies and the joy of movement. I also would love to incorporate more yoga into my work with trauma survivors. More and more research is coming out each month about the significance of yoga and other forms of movement in calming the area of the brain responsible for the flight, fight and flee responses to trauma. It is my hope that more yoga instructors will take trauma informed yoga training and work with survivors.

Yoga also helps me, at least for 30 minutes a day, feel like a skinny women. I don’t notice my size while I am on the mat. I just move. I just breathe. I just am.