Book Review - Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.

I have been under the weather the past couple of days and was fortunate to have Fried by Joan Borysenko at the top of my reading pile. Dr. Borysenko used the social network, Facebook, to gather input from her Facebook Friends (FBFs) to write about people’s experiences with burnout. By combining the input of the FBFs with research about burnout she was able to give a comprehensive view of the experience of burnout and the possibilities that come with surviving the experience. The information she provides would be extremely helpful to anyone working in the field of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Dr. Borysenko uses the allegory of Dante’s Inferno to map the progression of burnout from the descent into hell to the rise to Paradise. In the first chapter she provides the stages of burnout with the first stage being “Driven by the Ideal” and the last stage as “Physical and Mental Collapse.” I was extremely affected by the quote she provided from Thomas Merton’s Letter to an Activist which I think is very applicable to the work we do in our work to end violence against women and children.

“Do not depend on the hope of results. When you are doing the sort of work you have taken on, essentially apostiolic work, you may have to face the fact that your work will be apparently worthless and even achieve no result at all, if not perhaps results opposite to what you expect. As you get used to this idea you start more and more to concentrate not on the results but on the value, the rightness, the truth of the work itself.”

In this first section on the stages of burnout, Joan Borysenko provides writing exercises to help determine where a person may be on the continuum. In other chapters she addresses the “depression industry” that fails to recognize the effects one’s life history and prefers to medicate symptoms rather than address trauma and grief and may have actually done more harm than good. I found this section particularly interesting.

Dr. Borysenko also discusses the Adverse Childhood Experience studies of Dr. Vincent J. Filletti and outlines how childhood experience effects out ability to maintain our physical and mental health. She also encourages the use of McClelland’s Thematic Apperception Test and the Meyer’s Briggs to determine temperament and how one responds to stress. It was not necessary for me to take the TAT to know where I would fall and I found it helpful in validating the work I currently do. Dr. Borysenko recommends the use of such tests as a means of finding out whether or not one is working in a situation that will lead to increased risk of burnout.

Dr. Borysenko’s wisdom and stories from her own life are beautifully intertwined with the wisdom of the FBFs that she invited to participate in discussion regarding burnout and the revival that occur once a person makes the journey from Hell to Paradise and the recognition that we can let go and move one to a new life with even greater excitement and productivity.

I hope readers will find this book as wonderful as I did. I plan to refer to it often

I will end with a quote Dr. Borysenko included by John Milton (from Paradise Lost): “The mind is its own place, and in itself I can make Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.”

Quick Update - 21 Days and Still Going Strong

Today is my 21^st day without sugar, flour, caffeine, or dairy and I am going strong. Here are the benefits that I have noticed so far –

1. Less bloat. This may be TMI, but I felt lighter in the first week even though I don’t think I dropped but a pound or two.

2. More energy. This took a week to ten days to happen but I have noticed a big difference. At first I was cold all the time and sleepy, but then my body must have discovered all the reserves I had built up and decided to use the extra fat for fuel. I have this image of my body languishing and moaning as it wondered where the doughnuts and cookies were. Finally, out of desperation it started in on the fat and all has been better since.

3. Sleep pattern has changed. I still go to sleep around the same time but I am now awake and ready to get up between six and seven. I used to feel the need to sleep until eight or eight thirty.

4. The cravings stopped after the first ten days, but I still get a little anxious when I am around sweets. I’m not obsessing about when my next fix will be and that feels pretty damn good.

5. Some yoga positions are easier to get into and maintain since there is less belly in the way.

I am feeling pretty hopeful. I have some goals for this next year that would be easier to do if I lose some weight. I have a bicycle on lay-away and can’t wait until Spring to try it out. I also would like to snowshoe next winter and hike new trails over the summer. I start yoga teacher training in March and will be certified by the end of the year. And --- I can’t wait for a new wardrobe!

Winter in New England

I apologize in advance for the lack of photos. I was having too much fun to stop and pull out the camera.

I am pretty sure that the reason that New England has so many great writers (I won’t even attempt to name them all) is that winter calls for reflection, sitting by the fire and putting those thoughts down on paper. On days like this when the snow is falling hard and threatening to turn to ice the best thing to do is to hunker down and just be with it and enjoy the chance to slow the pace. The only problem in staying home for me is the wide range of choices of things to keep myself occupied. I can stay busy from dawn to way past dusk without a moment of boredom. In fact, I don’t relate to boredom at all. Boredom is the result of a lack of imagination.

We are in our second snow storm in a week and the possibility of power outages due to ice is real. I am stocked up on candles and batteries and hope that the soup is hot and cooked through before I lose power.

I am doing well. The major side effects of detoxing from the evils of sugar, flour and dairy seems to have worn off. I had a bad, four tissue box cold last week that I think was more a part of the detox process than a virus. Better out than in! However, my office mates were getting tired of the nose blowing, as was I. My nose is still recovering.

On Friday night, my sister, Barb, made her way through Massachusetts traffic from S. Windsor, CT to visit. We had an excellent time. After a dinner of tilapia, asparagus, and wild rice we went to the Red River Theater to see Vision, a movie about the medieval mystic Hildegaard von Bingen. Hildegaard was a woman way ahead of her time and a feminist within a restricted patriarchal church. The movie was very true to her story. She was a mystic, musician, herbalist, and healer and fought hard to protect the nuns living in her cloister.

On Saturday, Barb joined me for a Dharma class on death and dying taught by Kelsang Chokye from the Serlingpa Meditation Center. I am still processing the class. We were invited to contemplate our death daily and to develop our spiritual practice in such a way as to be prepared for the time of death. I think about death quite often, not in a morbid way, but because I have lost many precious people in my life and I am well aware that I am less than twenty years away from the ages my parents were at the time of their deaths.

Chokye gave us each a slip of paper to contemplate during meditation. Mine said “you have two years to live.” As I meditated, I found I was more concerned about the quality of those two years than the quantity. Being productive and of service are very important to me and I would not want to spend my senior years being of little use. Barb’s said she had two weeks to live and the first thing she thought of was that she needed to write down all the account passwords for her husband. Good advice for anyone.

As soon as the class was over we left for Lovell, Maine to visit our friends, Joyce and Roland and their two dogs, Longfellow and Macie (and Jeremiah, the elusive kitty). Joyce and Roland live in a house on the side of a mountain overlooking the White Mountains of NH. Along with that view we received wonderful conversation and excellent food made according to our dietary needs. Joyce is an awesome hostess and I fear taken advantage, but I won’t stop visiting until she puts up a “stay away” sign.

On Sunday, we went to Joyce and Roland’s church service in North Conway. I really enjoyed it a lot. Of course, we were sitting in the knitting section and Joyce and I had our needles clicking through most of the service. I love that we were able to do that.

After church, Barb and I made a quick stop at the Bean Pod, a Soyfire candle shop in N. Conway, so I could stock up. http://www.beanpodcandle.com/beanpod/ They have the best candles and I make it a point to get one or two whenever I am in town. They are also next door to Close Knit Sisters http://www.closeknitsisters.com/ , but I am trying to reduce my current stash so did not even put a toe in their door. It was hard, though.

I took the scenic route across NH302 through Crawford Notch. It was a winter wonderland full of cross country skiers, snowshoes, and snowmobiles. Mount Washington was shrouded in snow clouds but the drive was still beautiful. As we came around the corner, Barb looked over and said, “WoW!! What is that?” “That, Barb, is where we are having lunch!”

The Mount Washington Hotel is a magnificent 108 year old hotel that was built for the wealthy. The lunch was outstanding (and they made it according to our dietary needs). We wandered around a bit and then left with plans of returning soon. What a great place!

http://www.historic-hotels-lodges.com/new-hampshire/mount-washington-hotel/mount-washington-hotel.htm

Our last stop was in Plymouth to visit my son, his wife, and the grandkids. It was a lot of fun but I am still reeling from watching my Lizzie playing Big Game Hunter on the Wii. I couldn’t bring myself to point a gun at the deer on the television screen but that chubby cheeked little angel was going at it like a maniac. This pacifist grandma was shocked! It was surreal and I can’t even think about it without shaking my head. You can be certain that I was not the one that purchased that particularly Christmas gift.

After we got back to Concord we had a nice dinner and played a few games of cribbage until we couldn’t count the cards anymore and realized we were exhausted. The weekend ended on a great note and I was sorry to see Barb go. It was great to have her here and we had the chance to exchange notes on our respective food plans. She has lost fifty pounds since last June by just cutting out sugar and flour and she looks great. I am hoping to have at least the same success and plan on wearing some of her clothes on my way down. As the oldest, I have never had to wear hand me downs but I will gladly take what she gets too small for and then pass them on as I get smaller. Our common goal is to get fit enough to snow shoe and stay at the Mount Washington Hotel next winter.

Time to settle in to read by the fire on this snowy day.

Week One and No Casualities

As I wrote last time, this was my first week of living without sugar, white flour, caffeine, and dairy. I often wondered if I was taking on too much at one time but managed to make it through and there was no collateral damage in the process.

Last Sunday I was experiencing a little fuzzy brain, but did okay even though someone in the knitting group put a container of mini-cupcakes in front of me and left them there for about ten minutes. I had needles in my hand, people!!! I finally asked to have them moved before someone got hurt.

My biggest challenge was resisting Dunkin’ Donuts. I usually eat breakfast in my car on the way to work and, if I need an extra snack on the road, DD’s is my pit stop. That is why I needed to cut out the caffeine and the sugar together, because if I was still drinking coffee (even if I just stopped for decaf) I would be tempted to get something sweet. Caffeine and sugary sweets go together like cigarettes and alcohol in my mind. Both had to go. I hope to eventually be able to go back on decaf coffee but will need to buy a Kuerig maker so I can brew one cup of decaf at a time before work in the morning. All major changes in one’s life require shopping (another addiction that will be addressed at another time, but not now).

I bought Ezekiel bread, made from whole sprouted grains and legumes, to have with peanut butter or Tofutti cream cheese. I also hunted down a good protein powder that is made from soy vs. dairy and is unsweetened (Spiru-tein - but you have to look for the unsweetened one). I mix a scoop with more soy milk, a scoop of essential enzymes, and some blueberries and I have a great morning smoothie.

I don’t know which days were the hardest. The days when I was driving around the state or the day when I was at work with left over holiday sweets just steps away. On Monday I took my friend, Darcy, to her chemo appointment in Lebanon and made a peanut butter on Ezekiel bread sandwich for a snack and was able to get a great vegetarian soup at a restaurant at the hospital. Darcy also gave me some clementines. I found that those help a lot when a craving starts in.

Another item that has saved me has been Snyder’s Naturals Wholegrain Tortilla Chips. They are gluten free and are made with flax, quinoa, sesame and chia seeds, rice and corn flour. I can eat a few of those and the craving for salty/crunchy is taken care of and they are filling.

The cravings were nothing compared to fuzzy brain syndrome. I am normally a little adrift but for two to three days I was unable to string whole sentences together. I felt as if my intelligence had been directly fueled by sugar and flour and that there was no way I could think clearly without them. I had hoped it would only last a week and I have noticed that with the extra protein and some rest, I am now at a manageable state of being.

I didn’t realize how much my body counted on sugar for fuel. I have been colder than usual all week and came to realize that it is the direct result of having less glucose in my system to burn for body heat. Hopefully, that means my body will now turn to the fat cells which have long held copious reserves of unused fuel. I will wear more layers if necessary, do more yoga, and drink herbal teas, but my body needs to use what fuel it has more than adequately stored in my hips, belly and breasts.

The immediate positive effects of all this – feeling lighter, less bloated, and sleeping very well.

I don’t think I am past the cravings yet, but I do think I have pulled together enough tools and support to be able to handle them. It is now all about choice. Do I use my tools and supports, or do I give in to the cravings? I am hoping that eventually the choice to use tools and supports will be as automatic as giving in to the cravings has been. That means more meditation, more yoga, and more mindfulness in regards to the state of mind I am in. I know that when I am lonely, angry, tired, and stressed that I am more than likely to give in to cravings. I know that when I spend too much time with the committees in my head that I am likely to be a couch slug. Knowledge alone does not help. Like another blogger recently said in her post – “2011’s mantra is to say yes!” and my mantra is to say “yes” to feeling better in body and mind.