Making Changes! Spring Cleaning In and Out

I am in the midst of re-organizing my life on many levels and I have often found that the outside is a reflection of what is going on inside. Here is a summary of what has been going on so far ---

The food changes I have made are still in place and every time I am slightly tempted to partake of some poison I am reminded of the benefits of the choice I made to be gluten, sugar and caffeine free. I had a moment of disappointment when I went to see Dr. Jane on February 8^th. I had only last five pounds since I last saw her on November 30^th. I felt as if I had lost so much more and I couldn’t understand why it was only five pounds. Fortunately I took a breath and had a long talk with myself.

My Buddha voice: “Linda, my dear. Right after you saw Dr. Jane in November you went on a full on all out crazy sugar and flour binge that lasted for a full month. You ate every cookie, donut, bagel, whoopie pie, pumpkin pie, and Christmas candy that crossed your path.”

My whiney, bitchy voice: “Yeah, so what does that have to do with anything. I was having my last big blow out before cutting out everything. Every addict does that.”

Buddha voice: “Well, my point, dear one, is that you probably packed on ten pounds in December from your little month long party. Hence, the major hangover the first two weeks of January. You probably lost a total of 10-15 pounds in January but ten of those were pounds that didn’t even exist when you last saw Dr. Jane.”

Less whiney and bitchy voice: “Well, that not only makes sense, it makes me feel a lot better about it all.”

Now I have all this renewed energy and I have found that I am overdoing it. A lot. My next lesson is moderation in my scheduling. After crashing and burning a couple of times, I have new guidelines when scheduling both my work and home life. First of all, only one evening work obligation per week. I have had weeks when I was on the road and didn’t get home until after 9 and then had to be to work the next morning more than once. And, when possible, if I work late, I make sure not to schedule anything early the next morning. My new mantra for scheduling is “if I can do it without affecting my health, then it is a ‘yes’.” I am also going to try very hard not to say “yes” to things right away. I need to step back and evaluate before making the final decision. It is better to say “no” at first than having to cancel at the last minute because I am too worn out to travel.

Over the past week I have started re-organizing the outside. Last weekend I did the kitchen. It made a big difference and I am very pleased with how it turned out. Yesterday I made a long haul to IKEA (will not do that again – no effin’ way!) and got a new bookcase to use as an altar and a workstation to set up as a desk. I am currently sitting at a too small table and feel very crowded. This morning I re-organized the closet to hold my yarn stash and art supplies and built the bookcase/altar. I already have more room to spread out for yoga and I can see that the new desk is going to fit nicely. However, I am not going to put that together today. I need to relax for the rest of the day. Oh, I may still load up the car with the first of what I think may be three trips to the recycling center this week, practice my cello and practice yoga, but I am not going to make myself crazy by trying to finish this re-organization project today. I can do it all, but not today! That is what taking care of my self is all about.

All this may sound a little selfish, but I know that when I show up for myself, I am more likely to show up for others.

A Week Away and Still Going Strong - There is No Place Like Home (even if it is cold and snowy)

It is a wickedly windy Sunday morning here in New Hampshire and I am very glad to be here. It was a long week and even though I had gloated via Facebook about my trip to Clearwater Beach, Florida, I really prefer being home. The conference was on addictions. It was full of wonderful information that validated the work that I do, but the days were long, the chairs were uncomfortable, and I really only ended up with an hour each day to spend on the beach. I had one afternoon during which I walked and then rented a bicycle. I also got some great pictures of sunsets and pelicans.

One of the hi-lights of the conference was the chance to meet Joan Borysenko whose book I reviewed in my last post. I told her how much I appreciated her book and she was very gracious and warm. She comes across in person exactly how she does in her books. She gave a keynote on the mind/body connection and a smaller workshop on resiliency.

It was tough, but I did manage to stick to my food plan for the week. I had to pack my protein powder for breakfasts as the conference was only providing a continental breakfast. Continental breakfasts are a joke. Just coffee and pastries to get you all jacked up before the speakers start. There wasn’t a grocery store anywhere near where I was staying, but the pharmacy across the street had just gotten in some fresh fruit the day I arrived. I gladly loaded up with bananas, pears, and apples to supplement my breakfast.

When I checked in I asked the hotel clerk if there was a vegetarian restaurant nearby and she said that most of the restaurants had vegetarian items on their menus but there were no vegetarian or vegan restaurants. She recommended the Clear Sky Café, about 5 blocks from the hotel. That ended up being a good choice and I ate most of my meals there for the next four days. In order to get the protein I needed I ate plenty of fish (something I don’t normally do, but I did not want to eat beef or chicken) and the salad and veggie choices were great. My favorite was the Ahi Blacken Tuna Nicoise Salad. It had artichokes, hearts of palm, tuna, fresh salsa, spinach, cucumber, and seaweed with a great ginger dressing. I think I had that three or four times. I found out I really like seaweed salad. Yummy! I have to admit, though, I did have “pizza envy” one evening. There were a few people at the café eating what looked like an excellent pizza and all that melted cheese tested my resolve. Fortunately, I resisted.

I have noticed that, since I stopped eating sugar, everything else has so much more flavor. I am amazed at how much I am enjoying fruits and vegetables and I have even enjoyed some carrots as long as they were mixed with other vegetables. And, if you know me, you know that I really have a strong aversion to carrots. Blah!!

I am pleased. As of today I have been off of sugar, flour, dairy, and caffeine for five weeks. I hadn’t really meant to go this far without the dairy and caffeine, but now it seems to be such a good thing that I am going with it. I am going to see Dr. Jane on Tuesday and I am hoping to see some good results on the scale. If not, I will be okay because I know that I feel better and that as soon as all this snow goes I will be back on the hiking trails. I also have a new bicycle on lay-away that will get picked up as soon as the roads are clear.

Last year at this time, I was miserable. I felt like I was 70 years old and I had a medical provider who did not understand that I was not ill because I was depressed, but that I was depressed because I didn’t feel well. The progress I have made over the past year, especially since last May when I started seeing Dr. Jane, has been wonderful. The right health care provider makes a great difference. I may not necessarily be slimmer but I am now on the right path and expect to see even greater changes over the next year.