Making Changes! Spring Cleaning In and Out

I am in the midst of re-organizing my life on many levels and I have often found that the outside is a reflection of what is going on inside. Here is a summary of what has been going on so far ---

The food changes I have made are still in place and every time I am slightly tempted to partake of some poison I am reminded of the benefits of the choice I made to be gluten, sugar and caffeine free. I had a moment of disappointment when I went to see Dr. Jane on February 8^th. I had only last five pounds since I last saw her on November 30^th. I felt as if I had lost so much more and I couldn’t understand why it was only five pounds. Fortunately I took a breath and had a long talk with myself.

My Buddha voice: “Linda, my dear. Right after you saw Dr. Jane in November you went on a full on all out crazy sugar and flour binge that lasted for a full month. You ate every cookie, donut, bagel, whoopie pie, pumpkin pie, and Christmas candy that crossed your path.”

My whiney, bitchy voice: “Yeah, so what does that have to do with anything. I was having my last big blow out before cutting out everything. Every addict does that.”

Buddha voice: “Well, my point, dear one, is that you probably packed on ten pounds in December from your little month long party. Hence, the major hangover the first two weeks of January. You probably lost a total of 10-15 pounds in January but ten of those were pounds that didn’t even exist when you last saw Dr. Jane.”

Less whiney and bitchy voice: “Well, that not only makes sense, it makes me feel a lot better about it all.”

Now I have all this renewed energy and I have found that I am overdoing it. A lot. My next lesson is moderation in my scheduling. After crashing and burning a couple of times, I have new guidelines when scheduling both my work and home life. First of all, only one evening work obligation per week. I have had weeks when I was on the road and didn’t get home until after 9 and then had to be to work the next morning more than once. And, when possible, if I work late, I make sure not to schedule anything early the next morning. My new mantra for scheduling is “if I can do it without affecting my health, then it is a ‘yes’.” I am also going to try very hard not to say “yes” to things right away. I need to step back and evaluate before making the final decision. It is better to say “no” at first than having to cancel at the last minute because I am too worn out to travel.

Over the past week I have started re-organizing the outside. Last weekend I did the kitchen. It made a big difference and I am very pleased with how it turned out. Yesterday I made a long haul to IKEA (will not do that again – no effin’ way!) and got a new bookcase to use as an altar and a workstation to set up as a desk. I am currently sitting at a too small table and feel very crowded. This morning I re-organized the closet to hold my yarn stash and art supplies and built the bookcase/altar. I already have more room to spread out for yoga and I can see that the new desk is going to fit nicely. However, I am not going to put that together today. I need to relax for the rest of the day. Oh, I may still load up the car with the first of what I think may be three trips to the recycling center this week, practice my cello and practice yoga, but I am not going to make myself crazy by trying to finish this re-organization project today. I can do it all, but not today! That is what taking care of my self is all about.

All this may sound a little selfish, but I know that when I show up for myself, I am more likely to show up for others.