The Four Noble Truths
1. There is
the existence of suffering
2.
There is the making of suffering
3.
There is a way out of that suffering
4.
There is a specific path to restore well-being
called The Noble Eightfold Path.
.
Avoiding Suffering . . . . .
There is suffering. Who can deny it? I have known people who have tried their
hardest to avoid it, but truth be known it becomes even more difficult when one
is trying to avoid it. Whenever I got
into trouble as a teenage or even as an adult, my mother would quietly say to
me “I am not going to tell your father.”
The message I got was that the world would end if my father found out so
therefore it is best to keep him in the dark.
This meant that my mother suffered in silence and I didn’t get any
support from my parents when I was struggling.
When something happened that my mother couldn’t avoid telling my father,
then, yes, all hell broke loose. I often
wonder if it was because he had been sheltered from so many of my past failings
that he hadn’t had a chance to develop an understanding that I was a flawed
individual who was going to disappoint him sooner or later.
I knew a woman who said that it
was important to avoid “dark” things.
She only wanted to know about the good in the world, refusing to read
bad news or talk about things she found disturbing, such as mental illness or
violence. I honored that in her, but
found that I was not able to talk to her about a lot of things in my life. I work in a profession where I am exposed to
the impact of domestic violence, sexual assault, and child abuse every
day. Her avoidance of anything to do
with the suffering in the world protected her but left me in another situation
where I was unable to discuss the pain I felt when I heard a story or even the
joy I felt when I was able to connect with someone with severe mental illness.
Embracing suffering . . . .
In our attempts to avoid suffering in the world we can
forget that we are all inter-connected by virtue of our heritage as human
beings and residents of the Earth. We
all contain the same elements and share the same experiences. Our viewpoints may differ so it remains very
important to remember that on a very deep level we are all connected and
interdependent upon each other. By
exposing ourselves to others’ suffering we are also removed from the isolation
that we feel when we experience our own suffering. This
is illustrated in Phillip Moffitt’s (2012) description of the Buddhist parable
of the mustard seed in his book, Emotional Chaos to Clarity.
“When
a life has been lost or great physical or mental damage done, there is no going
back; there is only going forward. You hold
on to a personal claim because of what you lost, you assume the identity of the
victim. It may see right and proper, but
oftentimes it is just another form of self-imprisonment. In the parable of the mustard seed, a
distraught mother comes to the Buddha with her dead child in her arms, pleading
with him to bring her child back to life.
The Buddha says he will do so if she can bring him a mustard seed from a
household that has not known death. The
woman frantically goes from house to house, asking if they have not known
death, until finally she realizes that all households have known death, and she
is able to accept that great loss is a part of life (p. 253-254).”
The Buddha teaches us that
suffering is everywhere and that we need it.
Without it we cannot be happy. I
know that at first glance it doesn’t seem to make sense but it is true. Would we recognize the light if we did not
know what dark is? How can we know
happiness, if we have not experienced suffering?
Before he reached enlightenment
and became the Buddha, Siddhartha was living behind the palace walls not
knowing he was happy. He was in a state
of comfort that was consistent and satisfying.
It was not until he left the palace and saw the suffering of the world
that he was able to contrast his life and face the truth of existence. Life is suffering and it is happiness. They can exist apart and simultaneously. It is like riding the waves of the ocean. We can be on the crest and able to see
clearly, grateful for all we have, and then we crash into the space between and
despair the loss of the view and worry we will never come out of the dark
trench.
When I realized that my
attachment to staying on the crest of the wave was causing me more suffering
than being in the trench, I was able to view life differently and be more
satisfied. I saw both the hard times and
the good times as temporary and my attachment to maintaining the good and
avoiding the bad as causing more suffering.
A Buddhist teacher once drew a formula on the board that illustrated the
point. Suffering X Resistance to the
Suffering = Pain. The more I resist, the
greater my pain.
In his book, Dancing with Life,
Phillip Moffitt, taught me that the best way to manage my attachment is to keep
an eye on the flame of my emotions. If
my emotions flare up, I know that I am attached to an outcome, an idea, a viewpoint,
or a person, place, or thing. My
intention becomes keeping my flame low enough to feel passion and compassion,
but not so high as to flare up and burn myself out with the intensity of
attachment. I am not perfect. Politics, injustice, and fear of loss can add
fuel to my flame very quickly. However,
through mindfulness of my reactions I can bring that flame back down to a point
where I may be less likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors that damage my
health and peace of mind.
Over the next weeks I will be writing on the Noble Eightfold Path.
“Wherever the
Noble Eightfold Path is practiced, joy, peace and insight are there.”
(Mahaparinibbana Sutra, Digha Nikaya, 16.
The Eight
Limbs are:
Right
View
Right
Thinking
Right
Speech
Right
Action
Right
Livelihood
Right
Diligence
Right
Mindfulness
Right
Concentration
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