Recovery from Toxic Job Syndrome - The Healing Continues

It’s Sunday morning and I have done a half hour of yoga followed by a 25 minute walk in the heat. I feel strong. I feel healthy. I am sweating but it feels great.
One year ago I could barely move on the weekend and my energy for work ran out by mid Wednesday afternoon. Five months ago I had a primary care physician tell I needed to go to a therapist to discuss my depression. I couldn’t get it across to her that I was depressed because I didn’t feel well. She thought all my aches and pains were the result of my depression.
I have to admit that she may have been right about the aches and pains being a part of the depression– but only because with a little adjustment through the use of supplements to get my dopamine to a normal level and to get more Vitamins B and D in my system I now have the energy to get through the week and have fun on the weekend. My problem now is choosing from all the activities I love rather than trying to fit in a nap.
I went to see a nutritionist this week. I have to admit that this was done with some resistance but since Dr. Jane had suggested it, I agreed. At this point she could ask me to swim the English Channel and I would go out and buy a wet suit.
Dr. Jane had already gone over a food plan with me and wanted me to sit with the nutritionist to work out ways that it could fit in my lifestyle. However, before going to the nutritionist I did the following:
1. Looked at the food plan to see how it was divided among the food groups and made a grocery list of foods I like that fit into those categories. I paid special attention to the protein as I am a vegetarian and wanted to make sure I have enough. As pre-diabetic (insulin resistant) I have to make sure I have a proper balance of protein to carbs. I have decided to be more of a piscetarian and include fish. I have to have that protein. If I was a vegan I would be in big trouble. I love eggs but have switched to egg beater type products because I don’t want all that cholesterol and hate the idea of sending yolks down the drain. I have replaced most of my cheese with a soy based substitute. Not the best, but it works for omelets.
2. I have started collecting good recipes and even made up my own for an edamame salad. The grocery store was selling the salad in the deli, but I decided to make my own.
3. I bought new dishes. My regular dishes are huge. They are the type that farm breakfasts would be served on. The cereal bowls hold at least 4 cups and my serving of berries looked very small. So I went to Things Are Cookin’ here in Concord, NH and bought a couple of lovely dishes to enjoy my meals. The bowl holds one cup of berries which makes it so much easier to dish out a proper serving with a little yogurt on top.

I was expecting to be with the nutritionist for an hour and a half, but once she saw how much I had already done she had very little left to do. I was also very happy to find out that she is also a recovering binge eater and had once been five sizes larger than she is now. I have been to nutritionists before who were obviously little micro machine women who had maybe had to deal with losing five pounds and were very controlling in trying to get me to stick to a diet. This nutritionist said “I don’t make you keep records. I don’t make you count points. I don’t make you count calories. Those things only increase the obsession with the food. By figuring out which foods to eat and how to spread them throughout the day you just take the counting and guess work out.” I relaxed. She also gave me a good hint about protein. If I switch to Greek style yogurt then it qualifies as a protein rather than a dairy. A little more expensive but well worth it.
I have been on every diet out there and most of them made me nuts. Food ended up being an all consuming obsession. Now I have food to eat that is healthy and I eat at regular intervals without obsessing in between. What a concept!! And I am learning to catch myself when I am hungry and say “how do I want to nourish myself?” rather than “how do I want to fill the hole?”
Exercise is getting to be more and more enjoyable each day. I am doing a good yoga stretch before each walk and that helps me feel looser and stronger when I walk.
I feel like I have found myself again. I am convinced that after losing all my parental figures in a two year period and then working at a stressful job in a toxic environment for four years I had worn myself out and just couldn’t get it back without the right kind of help. Stress contributes to most illnesses and my immune system had reached the point that it needed some assistance. I would try to exercise but then be out for the count for days afterward. I had gained 80 pounds in the last three years at that job. I wanted more out of life and it took leaving for a new job that fits my personality and skills to be able to start on the road to recovery.
I would like to encourage everyone to be very persistent about receiving good health care, also. I first found out about Dr. Jane last fall and it was an eight month wait to see her. At times I was ready to throw my hands up and just let myself fall into complete disrepair and despair. However, after being under Dr. Jane’s care for two months, finding out my body (organs and skeleton) is structurally sound, and participating fully in my own care, I now am feeling so much better.
This past week my friend, Darcy, asked me how I was feeling. I said “Great!” She was surprised. She said it had been a long time since she had heard me say I was feeling well and it felt good to know that I really did feel great.
Here is the Edamame Salad recipe:
2 Cloves of Garlic – minced – more or less depending on your love for garlic
Half of a yellow onion – chopped finely
1 small can of corn niblets
1 can of black beans – rinsed
8 ounces of edamame (soy beans)
1 half of a red bell pepper chopped finely (you could use green pepper – but I am not fond of green peppers)
Mix it all together and add Italian Vinaigrette Dressing to taste. I used Marie’s All Natural Italian Vinaigrette because it is low in sugar and carbs and is made with extra virgin olive oil.
Let it all marinate for a few hours and enjoy. The edamame is a great source of protein and the garlic gives it a little kick that wasn’t in the store deli salad.

Monday night the local Farmer’s Market is opening. I can’t wait. I hope to have pictures and stories and recipes to share.